Marriage: Christ and the Church

Last Sunday during family bible class we looked at three questions about marriage:

  1. Where does marriage come from?
  2. What is the purpose of marriage?
  3. How can we live up to God’s design for marriage?

1. Where does marriage come from?

In the beginning God made marriage. It was his idea, not ours. Because of that, the essence of marriage does not change with time, culture or popular opinion. When a man and woman enter into marriage, God performs a supernatural union so that the man and woman become “one flesh” (Gen. 2:24; Mal. 2:15; Mat. 19:6).

Marriage is a common grace enjoyed by all humanity — not just people who acknowledge God as creator. Even without a knowledge of the truth, marriage is universally enjoyed as both good and beautiful. But as Christians, we have a distinct advantage, because we understand what Paul calls the “mystery of marriage”.

2. What is the purpose of marriage?

Marriage was designed to point us to something greater. Marriage is the creation of God, and the creator is always greater than the creation. Whatever we see as good and beautiful in marriage, we must know that God is all the more. He is the source of all truth, goodness and beauty. Marriage is designed to point us to God.

Marriage is about covenant-keeping

Furthermore, Paul tells us that from the very beginning, marriage anticipated the steadfast love of Christ for his people and his union with them. In Ephesians 5:22-33, Paul describes how husbands and wives should relate to each other. But at the end of the passage he reveals that he is actually talking about Christ’s love for his people, the church. When God established a covenant with Abraham, he said, “I will surely bless you” (Gen. 22:17). We know God’s promise is absolutely certain for at least three reasons:

  1. Paul in Galatians tells us that God’s promise was made long before the law was ever given. Therefore, God’s promise of faithfulness can never be nullified by his people breaking the law and violating the covenant.
  2. Hebrews tells us that when God made the promise he swore by himself. God was saying, as surely as I exist I will bless you — it is certain.
  3. Paul says that even before the foundation of the world, God purposed in love that through Christ his rebellious people, his enemies, would be forgiven and made holy and blameless before him.

When Paul wanted to describe this steadfast, covenantal love that God has for his people, he didn’t just arbitrarily choose marriage as a good example. He called marriage a mystery, meaning that this was God’s intention all along, but only after Jesus came did it become evident what God’s intention was. Marriage has always existed to give us a picture, a small taste of what God’s love for his people looks like — faithful, unshakable and true. (The words of this song are a beautiful summary and expression of Christ’s commitment to bless his bride.)

Therefore, marriage should reflect the very love of Christ. In This Momentary Marriage, John Piper says that “the highest meaning and the most ultimate purpose of marriage is to put the covenant relationship of Christ and his church on display. That is why marriage exists. If you are married, that is why you are married.” Then he says, “Marriage is not mainly about being or staying in love. It’s mainly about telling the truth with our lives” (pp. 25-26). Do you agree with those ideas? They may be hard to accept because our culture largely views the feeling of love as the basis of marriage. When the feeling goes away, so does the commitment and union. Of course the feeling of love is good and beautiful, but the act of our loving a spouse must ultimately be submitted to the truth of covenant faithfulness. Because marriage is a covenant that reflects God’s own commitment to faithfulness at all costs, in marriage we too must be committed, even when we don’t feel like it. By God’s grace, when we submit to this truth we will be blessed with the feelings of love that should characterize the marriage relationship.

Marriage isn’t forever

Because marriage is a picture of a greater reality, we will lose nothing one day when, as Jesus says, we neither marry nor are given in marriage (Mat. 22:29-33; Mark 12:24-27). One day marriage between husbands and wives will pass away. For those of us that love marriage or long for it, that might seem troublesome. But that’s because we are tempted to love the picture of marriage more than we love Christ and his church.

Getting analogies right

In Ephesians 5, Paul says that human marriage is an analogy, a picture of, Christ and the church.  Sometimes we use an analogy to explain a complex or abstract idea with a simpler comparison. For example, we can say the heart is like a pump. A heart is obviously more complex than a pump, but we’ve probably touched a pump and seen a pump and can relate to it better. In the end we can live without a pump, but we can’t live without a heart. In a similar way, the love of Christ for his church is more complex and more valuable than the love between a man and a woman. Furthermore, you can live without marriage on earth, but you can’t live without Christ and his church.

Just because marriage is an analogy, we shouldn’t despise marriage. Analogies, like marriage, are valuable, for at least two reasons:

  1. They help us in our inability to comprehend something complex
  2. They help us remember, because we’re forgetful

An analogy is like a photo of someone you love. If I want to tell you what my wife looks like, I can try to describe her features to you, but it will be easier to show you a picture of her. A picture of my wife also helps me remember who she is when I’m away from her. Similarly, marriage tangibly shows us what Christ’s love is like in a way that is universally accessible. Marriage is also a gracious reminder when we forget that Christ loves us.

However, we have to be careful not to get our analogies backwards. It would be ludicrous to love the picture of my wife more than her. Likewise, we shouldn’t love the picture of marriage more the person of Christ and his church. It’s easy to get analogies backwards in other ways. For example, Jesus said, “I am the bread of life.” We shouldn’t think that Jesus is like bread. Jesus is bread. Bread is like Jesus! You need Jesus more than bread. In the same way, Christ and the church isn’t like marriage. Marriage is like Christ and the church. Christ and the church are far more superior.

In The Four Loves, C.S. Lewis says that we lose nothing by turning from our earthly loves to embrace God:

We were made for God. Only by being in  some respect like Him, only by being a manifestation of His beauty, lovingkindness, wisdom or goodness, has any earthly Beloved excited our love. It is not that we have loved them too much, but that we did not quite understand what we were loving. It is not that we shall be asked to turn from them, so dearly familiar, to a Stranger. When we see the face of God we shall know that we have always known it. He has been a party to, has made, sustained and moved moment by moment within, all our earthly experiences of innocent love. All that was true love in them was, even on earth, far more His than ours, and ours only because His. In Heaven there will be no anguish and no duty of turning away from our earthly Beloveds. First, because we shall have turned already; from the portraits to the Original, from the rivulets to the Fountain, from the creatures He made lovable to Love Himself. But secondly, because we shall find them all in Him. By loving Him more than them we shall love them more than we now do. (p. 139)

Marriage is forever

In the eternal city, there is no temple: the temple is the Lord God the Almighty and the Lamb. In that city, there is no sun: the glory of God gives it light, and its lamp is the Lamb. In the eternal kingdom “they neither marry nor are given in marriage”: Christ is the bridegroom and his people are the bride. In this greater sense, marriage is forever.

Group Discussion: How can our marriages better reflect the relationship between Christ and the church?

God made marriage. He made it good for believers and unbelievers. But as members of the church we know what marriage has always been pointing to. We should let our understanding of Christ and the church actively inform, shape and transform our marriages to be a better reflection of ultimate reality.

Below are several truths about the marriage of Christ and the church:

  1. How could you apply each of these truths about Christ and his church to earthly marriage? Think of several examples of what this should look like in marriage.
  2. If you are married, think of specific examples from your marriage or think of new ways to apply this truth.

3. How can we live up to God’s design for marriage?

In conclusion, how can we possibly be committed and love like Jesus? How do I, an imperfect person, love an imperfect person? 1 John 4:7-12 is a beautiful passage where we find the answer. Our hope for loving like God is found in the very thing marriage is pointing to, God’s love for us in Christ whose death saves us from our lovelessness.

Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love. In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him. In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins. Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; if we love one another, God abides in us and his love is perfected in us.
Posted 7 months ago